Bend It Like...

We spent our last No Fear outing at a Galaxy game.  All teams that participated in the last tournament were able to buy 2-for-1 tickets.  In addition, the teams got to walk out onto the field before the game.  It was awesome to walk across the field played on by so many pro soccer players.  We touched the grass (and took some home with us).

Scooter was very excited to see Freddy Adu, the young, hot soccer star who currently plays for D.C. United.  And it's always fun to watch Galaxy, especially Cobi Jones.

What a great way to end the soccer season and kick off the summer vacation!

Series Finale
The Marketing department is a strange bunch of people. Unlike the majority of employees who are on a timeclock, we are exempt. I try very hard to be there on time, but if I'm late, it's no big deal, and there are those who stroll in anywhere between 15 and 45 minutes late everyday and don't give a shit. While the rest of the company races to punch out at 12:00 for lunch, the Marketiers tend to take late, long lunches, and until we moved to the new building, we always ate lunch together in our own marketing room. We dressed up as a group for Halloween. We had loud, raucous brainstorming meetings.

On the flip side, some of us put in way more than the expected 7-1/2 hours a day. There is a part of me that is always at work, always thinking of new product ideas, names, slogans, articles. I love my job. On weekends and vacation, even when I call in sick, I'm still mentally at work. Of course, we've all been given notice that we are being replaced by FOM (more on that after the job is officially terminated), so I don't know why I still try so hard.

Anyway, the Exodus has begun. First Michael left us for a design agency. A week later, Jill left us to help start up a new division of a consumer goods company. I'm pretty sure the next one to leave will be HRH Favi.

We took lots of pictures, and exchanged addresses and phone numbers, making promises to get together at least once every other month. Though we all started with the department at different times, this group has been together about four years. The business has been mostly downhill since I started eight years ago, but until recently it still was a great place to work. MF made sure all that changed. At our peak, we had twelve people; now we are down to five. All the best people have left, and a few stragglers remain, yours truly included, to close down the department.

It's like the end of a TV series. We were thrown together like a sitcom ensemble, and we were a very strange cast of characters.

Nerdy, brainy Marc. The most talented person I have ever met. His mom is such a nut job, I'm surprised he turned out to be so normal.

Matt, a former actor and bartender and a total babe, he never really gave up the spotlight, always doing crazy things to get attention.

Mike, always cracking jokes that may or may not be funny, the only person in the entire company who actually reads our Nielsen reports.

Richard was so friendly I thought he was hitting on me. He turned out to be the gayest person I know. I've never seen a grown man run like that.

Janet, a princess from USC. I wonder if she'll ever be happy about anything.

Joe, the Generic guy. He loves green. And Pilipino jokes.

Michael. Soft-spoken, artistic, musical, and a wild streak that pops up when you least expect it. "Well, I wasn't always a Christian."

Sharon knows everything about everyone, and I know nothing about her except she loves farts.

Lori aka Miss Melba Toast, the White Trash Princess. "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places." I think all she wanted was a family, and she's finally found it in Nashville.

Jill, the buffer between us and management. It's amazing she put up with that crap for so long. And vice versa.

HRH Favi, the loudest, most obnoxious person I have ever met. Underneath the tough barrio exterior, she has a huge heart. If she had ever met Janet, she would have eaten her alive!

Scott and I shared an office for five years before I discovered he's gay. Our typical conversations started, "You wanna hear something gross?" If I stay in touch with only one person, it will be him.

Goddess of Whine
Fluffy: Dreams are supposed to come true, but none of mine have come true yet. I'm NOT a princess; I DON'T have blond, curly hair; and I DON'T live in a big, humongous house!

Bouncy Balls
Scooter's P.E. teacher gave the class a time out recently. She told them they had to be quiet for so many minutes, but it didn't last for long when she said, "And I don't want to see or hear any balls bouncing around, so all you guys better hold onto your balls!"

Boiled Lobsters
I never knew how delicate my ears are until now. They are so sunburned. And my eyelids! I guess the glasses magnify the intensity of the sun. It's funny, too, how you discover after the fact the places where you missed putting on sunscreen. One spot on my shin. Selected areas on the backs of my legs and arms.

And somehow the sun has brought out the lines that were brewing just below the surface of my forehead. Augh!!!

This was an awesome weekend, but I have never been so sunburned in my life. Well, there was that last weekend of the 84-85 ski weekend at Squaw Valley when my face blistered on Saturday, yet I continued skiing on Sunday. I didn't know about sunscreen back then. I actually went on a job interview a few days later, when the blisters on my face had turned into ugly brown scabs. I got the job. This might be a good week for more interviews...

San Pedro Classic
We spent just about the entire weekend at the Field of Dreams for the San Pedro Classic, the last tournament of our 2005-2006 select season. The team didn’t do so well, but we had a good time anyway. On Saturday, we played against Central Torrance and San Pedro, and lost both games. The guys put up a good fight in the morning, but they were kind of lackluster in the afternoon game. We hung out under the E-Z Up between games, and went to Cold Stone at the end of the day.

On Sunday, I got up real early to make a double batch of spam musubis, since we planned to spend the whole day at FoD again. We played Valencia in the morning. It was 0-0 for most of the game. Scooter scored a goal and things were looking good, but in the fourth quarter, Valencia scored three goals one right after the other. That put us at the bottom of our pool, and in the afternoon we played the bottom team from another pool.

Since our last game of the day would be our last game as a team, the coaches let the kids choose their positions and go for it. To add to the mania, we spraypainted their hair blue, green and pink.

The game ended 1-1, so at least we didn’t lose ALL our games.

I don’t know enough about soccer to know what is a good or bad call, but the consensus among the coaches and parents seems to be that all refs are biased against our region and that isn’t just sour grapes speaking. One ref actually told our coach this weekend that our boys should take up ballet, because they obviously can't play soccer. Is it because we don’t play rough and dirty? Are they jealous that we’re too nice? It can’t be that we’re rich or spoiled, because we’re only from Torrance, not PV or Beverly Hills.

Anyway, the coach asked everyone to hang around after the game, because he had a surprise. I thought he brought popsicles or ice cream. Instead, he had a cooler full of water balloons! The kids had a blast! He did exactly the right thing to end a day that could have been very disappointing.

Armed Forces Tournament, Part 2
Soccer games continued yesterday. We won our first game against Central Torrance 1-0. Our second game ended 0-0 against Westchester. It was probably our most exciting game of the tournament. Both teams played hard. And the tie was enough to get us into the semi-finals against P.V.

We started out strong with a goal, but quickly fizzled. Our guys aren't used to playing five games in one weekend, and by that fifth game, you could tell they were pushing hard but struggling. We lost 2-1, but took fourth place overall in the U12 division. Not bad for a team that wasn't expected to win anything.

The best part of the tournament was that it was obvious how much each player improved, and that they now know how to play with each other. It was also the first time I heard them calling to each other, as well as trying to motivate each other. Each player is in the optimal position for him and the team, and the coach is using each player to the maximum advantage possible.

Our last tournament for this select season is the San Pedro Classic. Hopefully, the boys have more confidence (without the big heads) and can go on to place in that tournament as well.

4-0 No Fear vs. Diamond Bar
0-4 No Fear vs. Culver City
1-0 No Fear vs. Central Torrance
0-0 No Fear vs. Westchester
1-2 No Fear vs. P.V.
No Fear - 4th place overall

Armed Forces Tournament
Wow, this is a rarity. I'm actually writing about something the day it happens.

Today Scooter played in the Armed Forces tournament at the Field of Dreams. They won their first game 4-0 against the Diamond Bar Midgets. Wyatt, Scooter, Michael B, and Stefan scored goals. They were very impressive this morning. Then we came back this afternoon and got killed 0-4 by Culver City's Merengue (is that a dance or a kind of pie?).

Scooter doesn't score very often. He's a pretty good player (even his coach commented that it's too bad he has to play on such a lousy team), but whenever he gets near the goal, he gives the ball to another player to score. Fear of failure? Or of success?

Anyway, we have to be at the F of D at 7:20 tomorrow morning. I need to get up real early to make spam musubis. Maybe that will help Scooter score another goal.

Cost of Raising a Kid: $1,000,000. Benefits of Raising a Kid: Priceless
Fluffy: Who's the richest person in the world?
Wild Flower: I'd have to say me, since you already told me you're priceless.

Happy Birthday, Scooter!
Scooter is twelve today. He doesn't know it yet, but I bought him a really nice soccer ball and a cell fone!

Fluffy: Our boy is growing up!

F.O.R. Tournament 2006
Fluffy played in the FOR tournament this weekend. She had a game at 9:00 Friday night (yawn!), another on Saturday (which I missed), and their final game on Sunday.

I think we can all agree that Fluffy is not good at basketball. She does okay at practice, but in games she tries to be invisible. I can totally relate, because I did the same thing in sports when I was a kid. However, she has one big advantage, which is she gets good coaching, compared to P.E. in the seventies, when the teacher sent everyone onto the field with no instructions at all.

Anyway, Fluffy made a basket. The way everyone in the gym cheered, you'd think she was a "special" player. It was actually a pivotal point in the game. We had been losing by two points; her basket tied the game and from there we took the lead for the rest of the game, and won our only game in that tournament. After her earth-shattering basket, she got a little more aggressive, and was definitely more into the game. She took another shot and missed. But that's about 10,000% more than every other game she's played.

Slut
Out of nowhere, Fluffy asked me, "Did you have sex five or fifteen times?"
"What in the world are you talking about," I exclaimed.
"Well, it says here on your driver's license 'S-E-X: F...'"

I Need a Job!
Did I mention that I will be out of a job soon? Penmaker is moving Marketing out to Ontario, and when they find our replacements, we're gone. I, as well as everyone else in this department, have a lot of thoughts on this issue, but I can't share them in my blog lest I get fired for sharing them.

I can't believe how hard it is to find another copywriting job! My ideal job would be part-time and/or working from home. Actually, my really ideal job would be to stay at home and smother my kids.

Anyway, I'm looking at all my options - full-time, part-time, work at home, freelance. What's really discouraging is that I've been looking for the last few YEARS and I haven't found any freelance work in all this time.

Festival of Books

Flora and Fauna
Last, last week Fluffy was really bugging me to go on a picnic. But it was about 3:00 by the time we got home from Costco, so I said we had to do it in the backyard, which is just one big slab of cement. She made peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, got juice bags and snack bags of Teddy Grahams, and spread her favorite blanket on the ground for us to sit on. And we ate our lunch and admired the flora (weeds growing through the cracks in the cement) and the fauna (ants). (we're city folk)

She's on this "bonding" kick right now.

Scooter was in the house, and Guido was in the garage doing something. Fluffy yelled over to Guido, "You know, you really should be bonding with your son!" Then she added, "And you should do it while he's still young!"

Then we had to do the usual pretending we were on a deserted island and there were piranhas all around us. Scooter joined us and we starting pushing each other off the island, and in our make-believe world my butt is now smaller after having been attacked by piranhas.

Bad Mom
Scooter was helping make dinner, and I told him to be careful with the knife he was using. He asked why (duh), and I said I didn't want him to drop it and chop off any of my toes. And he said, "Oh, I thought maybe you were concerned about MY safety."

My New Career - Cafeteria Worker
I'm always doing funky variations of recipes, just to keep the family on their toes. They hate it. One day I made meatloaf with lots of salsa and corn mixed in it. Scooter says, "This is pretty good. Maybe you can get a job as a cook in the school cafeteria."

Soak Your Head
Fluffy's hair was sticking up all over the place one morning, so I told her to wet it a little and comb it down. She says to me, a little incredulously, "You want me to soak my head?"

Prince Ali
If Scooter weren't so shy, I think he'd be good on stage. He loves to dress up, sing, dance, talk in accents, and make a fool of himself. But only in our house. Around everyone else, he's pretty shy and self-conscious.

Are all boys like this? He drapes himself in blankets and capes, wraps towels around his head, covers his face with scarves, and fashions pretend swords out of anything he can get his hands on. He came to me like this and said, "I'm Perrrrsian," (rolling the RRRRs), and proceeded to dance and sing from Disney's Aladdin, "I'm Prince Ali, ali, ali..." What a kook! I love that guy!

Drinking Age
Fluffy comes to me and says, "You know, when I'm nine and Scooter's twelve, we'll be old enough to go into a bar together."