Slut
Out of nowhere, Fluffy asked me, "Did you have sex five or fifteen times?"
"What in the world are you talking about," I exclaimed.
"Well, it says here on your driver's license 'S-E-X: F...'"

I Need a Job!
Did I mention that I will be out of a job soon? Penmaker is moving Marketing out to Ontario, and when they find our replacements, we're gone. I, as well as everyone else in this department, have a lot of thoughts on this issue, but I can't share them in my blog lest I get fired for sharing them.

I can't believe how hard it is to find another copywriting job! My ideal job would be part-time and/or working from home. Actually, my really ideal job would be to stay at home and smother my kids.

Anyway, I'm looking at all my options - full-time, part-time, work at home, freelance. What's really discouraging is that I've been looking for the last few YEARS and I haven't found any freelance work in all this time.

Festival of Books

Flora and Fauna
Last, last week Fluffy was really bugging me to go on a picnic. But it was about 3:00 by the time we got home from Costco, so I said we had to do it in the backyard, which is just one big slab of cement. She made peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, got juice bags and snack bags of Teddy Grahams, and spread her favorite blanket on the ground for us to sit on. And we ate our lunch and admired the flora (weeds growing through the cracks in the cement) and the fauna (ants). (we're city folk)

She's on this "bonding" kick right now.

Scooter was in the house, and Guido was in the garage doing something. Fluffy yelled over to Guido, "You know, you really should be bonding with your son!" Then she added, "And you should do it while he's still young!"

Then we had to do the usual pretending we were on a deserted island and there were piranhas all around us. Scooter joined us and we starting pushing each other off the island, and in our make-believe world my butt is now smaller after having been attacked by piranhas.

Bad Mom
Scooter was helping make dinner, and I told him to be careful with the knife he was using. He asked why (duh), and I said I didn't want him to drop it and chop off any of my toes. And he said, "Oh, I thought maybe you were concerned about MY safety."

My New Career - Cafeteria Worker
I'm always doing funky variations of recipes, just to keep the family on their toes. They hate it. One day I made meatloaf with lots of salsa and corn mixed in it. Scooter says, "This is pretty good. Maybe you can get a job as a cook in the school cafeteria."

Soak Your Head
Fluffy's hair was sticking up all over the place one morning, so I told her to wet it a little and comb it down. She says to me, a little incredulously, "You want me to soak my head?"

Prince Ali
If Scooter weren't so shy, I think he'd be good on stage. He loves to dress up, sing, dance, talk in accents, and make a fool of himself. But only in our house. Around everyone else, he's pretty shy and self-conscious.

Are all boys like this? He drapes himself in blankets and capes, wraps towels around his head, covers his face with scarves, and fashions pretend swords out of anything he can get his hands on. He came to me like this and said, "I'm Perrrrsian," (rolling the RRRRs), and proceeded to dance and sing from Disney's Aladdin, "I'm Prince Ali, ali, ali..." What a kook! I love that guy!

Drinking Age
Fluffy comes to me and says, "You know, when I'm nine and Scooter's twelve, we'll be old enough to go into a bar together."

Old Dinosaur Bones
I filled up gas yesterday. It's just a small, 14-year-old Honda Accord. And I didn't even get a full tank. And it was $36.25. I wish I could ride my bike to work.

Color Me a Rainbow
This weekend was fun. On Saturday morning, we went for the usual six-week haircuts in Hermosa Beach. I was vacillating between going and not going to Polliwog Park for Earth Day after that, but Fluffy wanted to go, so we did.

There was a guy singing silly kids' songs, and we learned a song in American sign language. Eco-Station was there, and we saw some cool (but yucky) reptiles. I've been looking for volunteer opportunities for the Rainbows. It's amazing how hard it is to find something for third-grade girls. You always hear about how they need volunteers, but when you try to sign up, they say, no thanks. So I'll keep looking.

We went down to the duck pond, and since we didn't bring any old bread, since we didn't know for sure that we were going there, we crushed up some pretzels and sprinkled those around. The ducks turned the other way, and the pigeons only wanted the big pieces. Even the animals in Man Bch are spoiled.

Fluffy and Scooter got free frisbees, and we threw those around for a while. We really need to learn some frisbee-throwing technique. Even the toddlers could throw better than we could.

I don't know why I was torn about going to Earth Day, because I end up loving it every year.

That night we got out the Model Magic and made lots of dolphins, starfish, fish, a crab, and coral plants for Fluffy's diorama project.

Yesterday, we met a bunch of Rainbows at Islands for lunch, and then headed across the lane to Color Me Mine. My kids have painted ceramics a lot of times, but I've never done it. It was so much fun, I can't wait to do it again. Next time I'm giving myself a lot of time, though, because I was kind of rushed yesterday. Fluffy, Scooter (honorary Rainbow and dreamboat) and I made Mother's Day gifts for Pau-Pau, Grandma and Auntie Kinu (#1 auntie in the world).

Fluffy and I did more painting at home as we worked on her diorama. I don't know why I always balk at painting stuff. It was a lot of fun. We mixed colors to get different shades of blue for different depths of the ocean. It was cool.

It's so nice when there's no sports going on. We get to be kind of normal.

Memory Loss - Short and Long Term
This is terrible. Whenever life starts getting interesting, I get too busy and stop writing about it. Now I have to backtrack and try to remember all those things, which maybe weren't all that interesting since I can't remember them.

Spring Break in S.F.

Scone Update
Made bisquik scones again, but I ran out of mix and my batter was a little runny so I threw just a little flour in it to thicken it a little. I was afraid it was going to be a mess, but they turned out really nice. This time I added some lemon extract and cranberries, but no orange zest.

Fluffy the Firefighter
For years Fluffy has been on this kick to be a firefighter when she grows up. So I humor her, and tell her to eat lots of veggies, drink lots of milk and get lots of sleep so she can grow. This weekend, she was struggling to carry a camp chair to the soccer field and said, "I don't know how I'm going to be a firefighter if I can't even carry this chair." She's so cute.

Volcano Water
Really weird thing happened. I was boiling a pot of water. Just as it started to boil, a friend called, so I turned off the stove. After ten or 15 minutes, I figured I'd better continue making dinner even though I was on the phone, so I turned it back on again. It boiled very quickly, but kinda weird, like a really furious boil, with water jumping all over the place, not just bubbling. All of a sudden, a huge bubble of water burst out from the middle of the water, like it was exploding up and out of the pot. Water was all over the stove and floor. Very dangerous. My theory is that the water in the "middle" was already hot, even though the water on the surface was cooling. So when I turned on the stove, the water in the middle got super-hot and it exploded. But I need to look this up and find out what really happened. Could be an interesting science research project. But kind of dangerous.

The Perfect One
Fluffy just realized that she is the only one in the family who doesn't wear glasses or have allergies, and exclaimed, "I'm the perfect one!"

This 'n that
Hmm... it's already March.

Scooter played in a soccer tournament in Downey last weekend. Really not much to write about. This team is not so good. They did manage to score a few goals this time, and we rewarded them with pizza and ice cream at Thursday's practice.

Guido has been in England for the last week plus. Things are not as hectic as I envisioned. In fact, things run pretty smoothly without him around to cause everyone grief. Homework gets done. We eat dinner at home instead of take-out. Kids take a bath. House is vacuumed. I get to watch TV before 10:00 for a change. And I get to drive the Pilot! He should leave more often. The only problem is that I can't get Scooter to soccer practice, because it starts at 4:00 and I don't get off until 5:00.

Smaller, Cheaper, Better...NOT

Did I ever mention that Pen Maker is moving?  The crappy building we're in has a brand new warehouse attached to it, and I guess that fetched a decent selling price.  So all the product in the warehouse was moved to another warehouse in Ontario, and the people get to move next door to another crappy building Pen Maker leases.

Personnel decreed that each person is allowed eight boxes to move everything.  These are eight SMALL boxes, something like 8" x 17" x 12".  I have eight years worth of work and documentation piled up in my office.  There is no way I can fit everything into eight boxes.  But there is a bright side.  Just recently, MF (those are his real initials, but you can subsitute words that may be more apropos) announced that we are all getting laid off this summer.  Suddenly, all those files that were oh, so crucial to my job aren't that important anymore.

We show up at the new (old) building next week Tuesday.  In the meantime, packing is fun!

If a Deal Looks Too Good to be True...
I don't get this. I upload pictures into my blog and I don't touch them after that, but every so often part or all of a picture goes missing. I don't know how to fix it, except to delete it and upload it again. The only problem is that I usually delete the versions I upload (smaller) and now I can't find them. #@$%! Maybe this kind of stuff wouldn't happen if I actually paid for space!